“The Tsunami: For Fear Of Intimacy” is a post within the short series called The Wave. Please check out The Wave post page and the other posts in this series.
The wave of our presence and a harmonious ripple … it is easier than you might think…
there is one huge barrier… a wall of water that is quite formidable… when I think of waves I envision harmony… this is a wave that doesn’t invoke harmony… or Intimacy… it’s The Tsunami…. A different kind of wave than the good ole’ ripple.
The Tsunami: For Fear Of Intimacy.
We can spend much of our lives living in fear. This fear holds many people back from experiencing true intimacy. It seems to be a fear of others getting to know us, and a fear of one thing: Rejection. This is ridiculous, when you really think about it in terms of what is eternally relevant and important. We become experts at hiding our true selves from anyone and everyone, segregating our friends and living out a lie. These groups of friends all get to know a different person. Then, all of a sudden, we have to remember who we told what… it gets confusing after a while… we trip up in conversation… so we just tend to clam up… and in doing so we say adios to the wave and the ripple!
Or maybe we walk into church on Sunday morning, in all our glibness, put on a smile, come up with a humble and caring prayer request, toss a $10 check into the offering box, and waltz out of there with, dare I say it, our ego puffed up as a person after God’s own heart. Oh how that must hurt Him! He is The One who really matters… and He is The One who can see right through this shallowness. I guess this is part of that free will thing. God allows us to make choices instead of demanding our love and intimacy, and this life is just a trial run, our time of growing and learning for our eternal assignment. Roger Federer that one.
It seems that we learn this rejection lesson, pattern or trait from the very party that we’re attempting to elude: other people. Let’s face it… we have all felt rejection at some point in our lives. It’s bruising… and memorable. These experiences can hold us back… if we let them… or we can learn and grow… if the seed lands on fertile soil.
And here’s the saddest part: Our fear, and lack of self-confidence manifests itself in such a way that we actually end up hurting ourselves by distancing the people who stand ready to help and love us the most… simply because we don’t want them to see the true self that lies within us… we’re living a lie… for fear of rejection. Sketched out… anxiety sets in and overrules other emotions and reason…
Consider The One who knows everything, our every thought, action, our entire past, present and future… we “evade” Him, The One with true unconditional love… who stands faithfully waiting with open arms. Forgiving our past, compassionate to our feelings, and ready to give it all to us.
The One who will never leave us or forsake us…
Are we ready for the answer to avoiding this destructive wave?
Are we ready to experience true Intimacy?
It’s easier than you may think…
I know that the fear of failure and rejection has often kept me from being vulnerable in personal relationships. I’ve been intentionally vulnerable in front of people now, which is awkward (realllllly awkward). But it has produced fruit. It’s really led to growth in some of my relationships, and people have actually commented on how startling and refreshing that was.
me too Loren, it is scary to be vulnerable but amazing how accepting real people are when we are open, honest and sincere. Thank you for sharing your comments today!!
I, too fear failure and rejection. Am trying to remember that Jesus will never reject me.
Now that I’ve read your thoughtful post, I’m imagining a tsunami AFTERWARDS–when it has washed everything away and we’re clean and ready to start over with God in control. A different slant on your post, Chris; but see–ya got me thinkin’!
… lol… too funny… both Carol and Loren are thinkin’ ahead a bit 🙂