Image courtesy of WebbShots on flickr.com

As a little boy we lived not too far from some train tracks in central Pennsylvania. The trains weaved their way through the valley much the same as the West Branch of the Susquehanna River that also ran through our community. The Susquehanna was somewhat of a lazy river, having notoriety as the longest river in the continental US without commercial boat traffic. It meandered through the valley with majesty and tranquility. As little boys, my brother and I enjoyed playing with our friends both on the river and near the train tracks too, as we had to cross the tracks to get to the mountains where we loved to hike.

Down by the tracks it was pretty quiet too, like the river, until a train approached. Many little boys are fascinated with locomotives and the cargo they pull.

First of all, these trains looked really heavy. That theory was confirmed when I observed the thick steel rails they traveled on move up and down with each passing car. Second, they were really loud. There is no such thing as a quiet train. They rumbled. The noises they made included those emitted by the engine, which understandably had to be really noisy to move all of that weight; the cargo cars also made lots of noise as their steel wheels screeched across the tracks. It all just seemed like a lot of effort to transport the goods from one place to another. I learned much later that this is indeed efficient, that’s why the trains continue to hum.

Locomotives and the power that they use to tow are symbolic of the momentum that we can think of in life as we connect with the right people. Yes, relationships involve people. With that said, we can assume that they can get messy. So I was reading not too long ago about a train that flew off the tracks traveling some crazy speed well over what a turn was designed for. Pretty reckless. Slow down sparky! As a new year gets underway many people head out on a journey to rekindle old friendships, or to make new ones. Here are a few do’s and don’ts to consider. If you yearn for more there’s a book for that…

• Most of the answers to finding the right people start from within. You have to get to know yourself before you can understand the dynamics of how a friendship or other personal relationship may proceed with another person. For example, if you’re an introvert, trying to be bold for the sake of making new friends may be intimidating or even overwhelming. Moreover, the people you tend to gel with during your venture as Braveheart may not fit as well when you find yourself settling back into a groove of watching Duck Dynasty or other inspirational controversy (aka, reality TV).

• Making and keeping friends should be a conscious decision, not one of convenience or something that simply drifts you along through life like a raft on the Susquehanna. The influence your friends have in your life include the ability to change your values, character, habits and overall development to maturity. Seek wise counsel and stick close to those who you respect and who respect you as well. Remember the little engine that could… “I think I can, I think I can, I think I can, huff huff huff, puff puff puff, and over the mountain he went!”

• With that said, carefully considering your own values and interests, seek to identify people who share them. The best friends are a good influence and will help carry you through stormy weather. They will contribute to your happiness, and at the same time will tell it like it is when necessary to help keep you on an even keel. You will likely share a few common interests with them, be it fitness, travel, cooking or even the friendly banter of two goofballs (btw, these are all on my let’s-do list 🙂 ). Watersports? Cowabunga! Whatever floats your boat, or makes your train hum…

• Keep friendships in perspective. Don’t confuse the desire to be in healthy relationships with codependency. Our relationships should be a matter of choice, and not need. This is a huge red flag to the right kind of love, when someone emphasized they need you more than they love you. Avoidance is another train wreck waiting to happen – communication is necessary in all relationships in life. If a conflict arises we can’t always take the higher road, for the sake of restoration and growth we may have to walk through the mess. (Click To Tweet)

• Don’t let toxic people linger in your life. Recognizing that we all go through it at one time or another, we have to carry each others burdens, being compassionate and empathetic to the needs of our loved ones. That’s not really what I’m referring to here. I think many people get stuck in toxic relationships. While it may be in human nature to sin, recognize there is inherent good in most everyone (I guess this is where we break free of the sociopaths – they need professional help). If someone emits a destructive or abusive atmosphere that is intimidating or erosional it’s time to get some distance, without delay. Letting them go doesn’t mean that you hate them, it just says at some point you recognize that it’s not healthy for you or your well-being. Nothing wrong with that.

Friends. Choose them wisely. Good people will bring out the good in you, and will always be a blessing in your life.

What criteria are most important to you when you choose the people to let into close proximity?

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ET… Phone Home!!

Oh to be the little boy who shared his cookies and shacked up with the wayward space alien named ET… now THAT would be completely off the chains… AND the pages of the Sears Christmas Wish Book

The ExtraTerrestrial Event And The One Night Brostand…

Short-term friends… like a day or week in the life… do you have any of these experiences?

I’ve had a few… some crazy… some inspiring… some… well… some (from my distant past) that we should probably bury deep in the depths of the Marianna Trench! These events could be a One Night Brostand… or it could just be a random act of kindness where we disappear into obscurity… true and complete servanthood like Jesus taught us. Straight up Being Great!

Be it a brofriend or the ET… you could meet them most anywhere… on an airplane, at a conference, in the desert, on a ski trip in Colorado, or the tropical Caribbean… you never know where or when these temporary companions will arise… so be prepared… when they do, you’ll have to make a split second decision to either take a hall pass… or to seize the moment. Which one? Here is some guidance on choosing:

– If the ET can speak the lingo and doesn’t appear to want to abscond with you to some other galaxy where they may run a series of guinea pig tests on you it may just be OK to spend an evening with them. Most of these ET’s are relatively harmless… they’re just curious like you and me (plus we can chalk that one up to experience!) 😉

– If the One Night Brostand may end up either (1) on the 6 O’Clock news, or (2) land you in prison, (OR BOTH!!) you may want to consider passing on this one. Generally speaking, any brostand where you can’t come back and share the deets over coffee with your sweetness or in your life story would be bad news… steer clear of these events.

However, if it may turn into a “Being Great’ event… just being like Jesus… readily available to faithfully and humbly serve others in whatever way needed, you don’t want to pass this one up.

Jesus said “your attitude must be like my own, for I, the Messiah, did not come to be served, but to serve and to give my life.” Matthew 20:28

I’m thinkin’ Being Great is unselfishly serving and loving others with a heart like Jesus’, within our church’s ministry and the world’s mission field. Anyone can be a servant. All it requires is character.

Being great with like-minded people… these are the folks who came and went like the first cold front of the fall season… lightning crashes… rolling thunder chases the wind… and at the same time a lasting impression is left behind… yep yep yep, this is where it’s at!

Q: Do you have an experience with other people who came and went like the wind, and where your shared a “be great”experience with them?

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Friends... more than just a sitcom... often the central perk in our lives!

Friends are said to come into our lives for a season, reason or for a lifetime…

I wanted to share with you today a poem that I ran across about the people who we cross paths with… very cool…

Reason, Season, or Lifetime

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty; to provide you with guidance and support; to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

— Author Unknown

This concept truly amazes me… we never know who will come and stay… or even go… and sometimes they come and go and we don’t really know why… but they surely all arrive and leave with a purpose.

We should cherish each and every person that we encounter and hold on to the good… memories, lessons, love and laughter that we share each step of the way… I’m thinkin’ I’ll make a sticky note reminder for that one… for this and every season!

Who is your best friend… and why?

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Allie and Ben

My daughter Allie was married on Saturday. It was a very emotional event for our family, drawing everyone closer together. I wanted to share with you today a portion of the speech that I gave at the ceremony, after the formal announcement of Allie and Ben’s marriage…

While we gather here today to celebrate I wanted to let you know that you each play a vital role in the success of Allie and Ben’s marriage…

as it says in Ecclesiastes “a cord of three strands is not easily broken” … a marriage centered on God finds true success, intimacy and companionship… this one… finding a bond weaved with Allie… Ben… and our Heavenly Father…

I believe each of you also share in helping the success of Allie and Ben’s marriage. I read recently that we are each a product of our 5 closest friends… those around us having the potential to influence us the most. Allie and Ben invited you here today because they love you and cherish their relationship with you. You are very influential in their lives…

So thank you for coming and please share in the celebration…

leave here with everlasting memories…

and go knowing that the success of this union is something that you all will share in…

please continue to be a positive inspiration in the day-to-day lives of Allie and Ben…

and please always be a part of the cord that keeps their marriage intact….

On behalf of all of your friends and family, congrats Allie and Ben, we love you now and forever!

The post Further Insulating A Strong Bond first appeared on I'm Just Thinkin'.

I’m so thankful for their loving support, encouragement, and keeping me grounded and accountable.

Even the one I asked to take me out back and beat me with a baseball bat for the feelings that I have in my heart came through… nope, I’m not black and blue… but truly amazed at how authentic friendships can keep me moving in the right direction. And reassured about the feelings in my heart and what it all means.

But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness. Hebrews 3:13

Happy Monday, and Thank You 🙂

The post Authentic Connections first appeared on I'm Just Thinkin'.