Tag Archive - intimacy

The 2 Curses Of Attraction

May 17, 2012 in Breathing Deep with 6 Comments

One good-looking dog!

Looks, as we all well know, are skin deep. The skin is thin… 2 to 3 millimeters… that’s 0.1 inches. Sure, there are other features involved in forming our impression, but the first glance is enormous in determining attraction in the world we live in.

Some of you may be wondering what in the tarnation I’m talking about… The Curse Of Being Attractive. Many have said, “If only I was better looking…”

Attraction… and particularly being attractive to others… can be a blessing and a curse. Consider these two scenario’s…

Continue Reading…

Up From The Deep: From The Inside Out

December 15, 2011 in Breathing Deep with 2 Comments

“Up From The Deep: From The Inside Out” is a post within the short series called The Wave. Please check out The Wave post page and the other posts in this series.

Ok, so this intimacy that you’re talking about Chris… I’m not really sure if I have experienced it to the level you’re suggesting is attainable… how do I know?

I think most people have had a deep, intimate experience with other people… have you with God?

True intimacy comes and goes in life. Unfortunately, God didn’t put us here just to live a life of bliss. In that regard, experiencing intimacy is like experiencing true joy. Savor it when you have it… hold on tight!

Savor the positive memories as well. Like the first impression of a smile and the healing power of laughter, the rhythmic beauty of the ripple will go far… and then its reflection will eventually fade… what will it leave behind? Many times that’s up to us to decide… what will it leave behind in our memory… and in our heart? That decision, in many regards, is made through the conscious decision of our focus.

While the ripple is a shallow pattern on the surface of the water, it is poetic… a reflection of the deeper character of the fluid… and, in us, our core… where our true identity, character and the level of intimacy that we can attain are defined.

Big wave or small, our time here is but a flash in comparison to eternity…

What story does your life tell? I can’t change the past, but when I look around I know that I want to be able to tell the whole story of what’s going on now… that’s the litmus test of how I’m riding the wave.

Finally, I know if I want to have true, deep intimacy in my life, with God and with others, I have to focus on me. I have to focus on just being me. And I have to be real. That starts in the core and the transformation occurs from the inside out. The ripple or reflection… my presence… is the last place it appears… where everyone else can see.

What are you waiting for? Start today… the gracedrops will shower you clean… puddles of blessings will soon appear… and you’ll have a chance to ride the wave.

The Wave… more than anything this is about working on me… how I need to focus on comparing myself only to Jesus. How I can grow and become better.

The Wave… Ride It… and Ride It Well.

How do I get there?

The Wave and our Presence… from the inside out.

True Intimacy: Just Being Me Consistently

December 14, 2011 in Peace Love & Unity with 3 Comments

“True Intimacy: Just Being Me Consistently” is a post within the short series called The Wave. Please check out The Wave post page and the other posts in this series.

Ok, so you’re ready to dive right into The Wave of Identity, Character and Intimacy. Sweet! Experiencing true intimacy is easier than you think…

In fact it’s so incredibly simple you may laugh when I tell you the “secret.”

The key to having true intimacy is for me to just be myself. My presence should accurately reflect who I am.

Think of your life as a story. Can you tell us the whole story? Most people have something from their past they would rather not say. Chalk that one up to experience… and really learn from it. However, if your life entails living a story now and you would rather not share the whole story… you may want to rethink how you’re living as you’re just sticking your toes in the water. That part of the story that you can’t share is holding you back from the best that God has in store for you… and from experiencing true intimacy.

One story… one life… one me… consistently!

I don’t need to morph into an alter ego to change my curb appeal. Remember, curb appeal quickly looses significance when we’re heading down the highway… or trying to catch the big wave for the long ride into shore.

Here’s one more suggestion: Don’t forget to bring a humbled spirit. A humble spirit will take you far.

I believe this is true with finding intimacy in every relationship in our lives… those at work, friends and family, spouses, and, most importantly, with God.

When I am just me things begin to happen. Life gets real and exciting… the gracedrops fall… puddles of blessings appear…

… I can dive in and ride the wave.

Are you ready to dive in?

Are you ready to ride the wave?

it’s easier than you may think…

The Tsunami: For Fear Of Intimacy

December 13, 2011 in Breathing Deep with 4 Comments

“The Tsunami: For Fear Of Intimacy” is a post within the short series called The Wave. Please check out The Wave post page and the other posts in this series.

The wave of our presence and a harmonious ripple … it is easier than you might think…

there is one huge barrier… a wall of water that is quite formidable… when I think of waves I envision harmony… this is a wave that doesn’t invoke harmony… or Intimacy… it’s The Tsunami…. A different kind of wave than the good ole’ ripple.

The Tsunami: For Fear Of Intimacy.

We can spend much of our lives living in fear. This fear holds many people back from experiencing true intimacy. It seems to be a fear of others getting to know us, and a fear of one thing: Rejection. This is ridiculous, when you really think about it in terms of what is eternally relevant and important. We become experts at hiding our true selves from anyone and everyone, segregating our friends and living out a lie. These groups of friends all get to know a different person. Then, all of a sudden, we have to remember who we told what… it gets confusing after a while… we trip up in conversation… so we just tend to clam up… and in doing so we say adios to the wave and the ripple!

Or maybe we walk into church on Sunday morning, in all our glibness, put on a smile, come up with a humble and caring prayer request, toss a $10 check into the offering box, and waltz out of there with, dare I say it, our ego puffed up as a person after God’s own heart. Oh how that must hurt Him! He is The One who really matters… and He is The One who can see right through this shallowness. I guess this is part of that free will thing. God allows us to make choices instead of demanding our love and intimacy, and this life is just a trial run, our time of growing and learning for our eternal assignment. Roger Federer that one.

It seems that we learn this rejection lesson, pattern or trait from the very party that we’re attempting to elude: other people. Let’s face it… we have all felt rejection at some point in our lives. It’s bruising… and memorable. These experiences can hold us back… if we let them… or we can learn and grow… if the seed lands on fertile soil.

And here’s the saddest part: Our fear, and lack of self-confidence manifests itself in such a way that we actually end up hurting ourselves by distancing the people who stand ready to help and love us the most… simply because we don’t want them to see the true self that lies within us… we’re living a lie… for fear of rejection. Sketched out… anxiety sets in and overrules other emotions and reason…

Consider The One who knows everything, our every thought, action, our entire past, present and future… we “evade” Him, The One with true unconditional love… who stands faithfully waiting with open arms. Forgiving our past, compassionate to our feelings, and ready to give it all to us.

The One who will never leave us or forsake us…

Are we ready for the answer to avoiding this destructive wave?

Are we ready to experience true Intimacy?

It’s easier than you may think…

The Wave And Our Presence

November 28, 2011 in Soul Food with 8 Comments

The Wave is a Post Series on Identity, Character and Intimacy…


The Wave And Our Presence…

A lot of times when I catch up with family or friends our get-together will resemble a wave in the ocean…

One person will initiate contact with an e-mail or phone call, or maybe we run into each other somewhere…

Smiles, hugs and laughter are exchanged, and we feel all gushy-warm inside like chocolate-chip cookie dough…

We realize it’s been too long… too long since we’ve stopped to make time for each other… too long since we’ve shared a moment…

The affirmative nod is exchanged, and as further contact transpires, we make a plan and look forward to time together. The Wave is but a ripple at this point…

As the big day draws closer, the wave is building, and we may have additional contact and even invite other friends to join in…

This is an idealized scenario, because a big part of the gathering, or event, is what we’re bring to the table, in effect, Our Presence. If we’re bringing the right stuff, if we’re just being ourselves, and if we’re bringing a humbled spirit and softened heart, The Wave And Our Presence is huge!

The Big Event arrives: The Wave reaches a crescendo when we finally leave everything else behind and meet up. Often, our gathering picks up wherever we left off the last time. We talk, laugh and create a memory.

Typically, there is some sort of follow-up after The Big Event. Our heart is left feeling satisfied, and we yearn for more…

more of God’s love…

more good memories…

more of our company’s Presence…

Our family Thanksgiving gathering this year made me think of The Wave And Our Presence. It was the best Thanksgiving ever for me. A lasting good memory… and one that I will cherish for a very long time. Everyone showed up with the right, radiant spirit and together we created an appealing Wave.

It makes me look forward to the next Wave…

It makes me look forward to creating more good memories.

This Wave’s energy is the love created in our heart through the companionship we share with other people. It’s a gift we’ve received from God that we can enjoy and focus on every day of the year.

How was your Thanksgiving weekend?

What do you think we need to bring in Our Presence to make The Wave a positive lasting memory?